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Anal Sex That Doesn't Hurt

Many don't want to give anal sex a try because they are sure that it hurts. But does it? No! Or at least it shouldn't. It should be safe, painless and pleasurable.

What is important when it comes to anal sex?

  • Communication
  • Relaxation
  • Lubrication
  • Start Gradually


First of all you have to be sure you are absolutely ready to take this step. Don't hesitate to talk to your partner about it. An open discussion about anal sex can drastically improve the experience.

It can sometimes be hard to introduce an idea of anal sex to the relationship. Be honest how you feel about it. Never pursue anal sex as a favor to your partner. Backdoor loving can only be a breath-taking experience when both parties agree upon it.

It is usually women who don't feel that anal sex can be even remotely fun. So men, don't force the idea upon them, slowly reel them in and be willing to do lots of talking before enjoying the fruits of your labor.


It's one of the most important things when it comes to anal penetration. It's crucial that muscles in the anal area are relaxed or anal penetration won't be possible and if it will, it's going to hurt.

Don't go straight for the butt, even when anal sex is what you've agreed upon. Don't rush it. Take your time, engage in foreplay, make sure you and your partner are completely relaxed before the actual anal penetration.


Lubricant is a crucial part of your anal fun.

Because the anus is not self-lubricating you will require some additional help. While we are all for licking and arousing your partner with your tongue, saliva alone won't do it in this case.

We recommend anal lubes that are designed especially for this purpose. They are extra thick, so they don't dry out as fast as other lubricants. You can choose among silicone or water based lubes. Oil based anal lubes are also available, but we would advise against them, because the oil can cause bacterial or other infections.

You don't have to necessarily use an anal lube, some other type of lubricant can do the job just as efficiently. But some find that lubricants that contain sugar or glycerin (flavored lubricants) can cause yeast infection. That is because this kind of lubricants are mainly meant for external use.

Start Gradually

Finger action: For the first time penis is much too big to insert into the anus. So start small. Fingers are a perfect starting point. They are in fact a very adjustable sex toy. Begin with one and then gradually move to two or even three. Try inserting the fingers during oral sex and be in awe of the positive response you will get. Make sure your fingernails are well trimmed or you can seriously injure the soft tissue in the rectum.

Sex toys

Once you've mastered anal penetration with fingers you can try using some anal sex toys. Anal beads or small sized anal dildos would be perfect beginner's choice toys. Anal beads are particularly appropriate since they let you get used to the sensation step-by-step, and it's you who's in control of how big or small the steps are.

The real deal: If you've gone through all the mentioned phases you are now certainly ready for actual penis penetration. Although the fingers and the sex toys have given you a pretty good idea how it would be like, the intensity of the feeling might still surprise you. Don't worry, just surrender to the feeling and you will see there is nothing in the world that can match anal sex.

Hopefully the myth of the painful backdoor loving has been broken. The simple methods described above are all you need for an out-of-this-world anal experience.